You Were Always On My Mind
by niphredilorn
Summary: My own take on Kenshin's last day on earth. Being stuck at the dojo does give one time to dream and remember what happened before, doesn't it? Update: Kaoru's view on things, and an unexpected person, NOT a certain first wife, appears at the dojo! KxT
1. Dreaming

Author's Note: I've taken many liberties with events, timing, people, and spacing, but please read and enjoy my first Kenshin fanfic! Thanks!

**You Were Always On My Mind**

_A forest blanketed with snow. Pure, quiet, serene. The swordsman awoke sitting against a tree, snow lightly falling down all around him. He knew he had been here before, too many times to count. He stood up, looked around and started walking briskly. _

"_I don't want to be here," he thought. "I have to get out of here. I must..." _

_He ignored the snow, which started coming down more heavily and cleared a path as best as he could manage. _

"_I don't want this. Wake up! Wake up! I don't-"_

_It was then, suddenly, that he caught a whiff of it, of hakubaiko. White plum perfume. Her perfume._

_He couldn't help but stop and close his eyes. _

"_Please. I don't want to see you. I'm fine, I-" his train of thought broke off, for the smell was becoming stronger by the second, as if someone was drawing near him. _

_And, against his will, he opened his eyes slowly, only to look upon the face that haunted him, the face that he would always remember. _

_Tomoe… Tomoe…_

_Her face bore no sign that she had any idea of the traitorous thoughts he had almost uttered out loud, but instead was full of welcome and yes, of love. _

_Tomoe… _

_He knew that he should step back, should leave her and try to forget but…_

_I just can't help it. _

_He took two steps forward as her face broke into the heartwarming smile he remembered. Her white plum perfume was all around him now. He raised his arms, intending to embrace her, and-_

Kenshin snapped awake suddenly. His eyes full of emotion, he looked down for a while and gathered himself before looking at his surroundings. It took him a while to remember that he was indeed at the Dojo, his joints aching, his body weak, a long time before it should have been.

"I knew it," he said sadly to himself. "I knew it was just a dream. It always was, and it always will be. I'll never meet her again."

By the weak sunlight streaming through the window, his face suddenly seemed older, as if all the cares and burdens of the world had been thrust upon him.

I never will," he repeated softly.


	2. Unexpected Guest

Another fine day at the Kamiya Dojo. Kaoru dragged a big basket of laundry out of the main house and started hanging it on the lines outside. "It's good the rain stopped, isn't it, Kenshin? I thought it would never end… The laundry was starting to pile up already, too!" A smile was on her face and her voice, rather than mellowing through the years, had retained its original perkiness.

"It's good, Kaoru-dono…." Kenshin said in a voice so weak that one would have never dreamed he was the former Hitokiri Battousai. In contrast to Kaoru, his eyes had lost their sharp luster, his hair its glossiness and thickness. Even the color has somehow become more subdued, and one could observe white hairs threatening to claim his head. Lines had crisscrossed on his face and wrinkles had taken over his arms and legs, which were dangerously thin and frail. He tried to smile, but only managed to turn up the corners of his mouth.

Kaoru smiled: a bright, wide, pleased smile. "It might snow soon though, it's getting really cold…." she remarked while continuing to hang up the rest of the laundry. She had just gone through half the basket when someone started pounding hard on the dojo door.

"Wait here, Kenshin, I'll get it," she called back as she walked briskly through the courtyard, wiping her wet hands on her apron.

She cautiously drew back the door to a small crack. "Yes? Who's there?" The angle of sunshine made it very hard to see the person. She squinted and pulled back the door only to reveal…

"Sano!" Kaoru shrieked as she wrapped her arms around him. He looked entirely different. His hair had grown longer, though it was still tied back from his forehead with a red ribbon. He had also grown taller, and he was wearing a very travel-stained cloak over what looked like very worn clothes. Yet, his eyes were still the same, and his mischievous smile hadn't changed at all.

"What happened to you? Why did you never write? Do you have a family now? Are you going to stay in Japan forever?"

The man at the doorway grinned as he untangled himself from her.

"I wrote you all a letter, right? That I was going to Mongolia… I'm sorry I wasn't able to say good bye to you guys properly." He looked very wistful.

"I couldn't have given you guys an address, I never stayed in the same place for more than two weeks." Sano scratched his head and grinned again. "No, I don't have a family, I don't plan to, and I'm not sure if I'm going to stay in Japan for good right now." He breathed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Being here again brings back so many things… Even the air is different."

Kaoru also smiled and closed her eyes, sharing in his nostalgia for a moment. Yes, many good things had happened here, and almost all the best times of her life she had had were centered around a certain red-headed swordsman… Suddenly her eyes snapped open.

"What are we doing standing around here? Come in, come in!" She took Sano by the hand and led him into the courtyard.

"Where's everybody?" Sano asked curiously as he looked around. "Yahiko, Megumi…"

"Megumi went back to her hometown to establish a practice; she still visits now and then. Yahiko…. he's in Kyoto right now, training with Kenji, I think…." Kaoru's voice suddenly took on a tone of sadness. The dojo had felt really empty when they had left. Kenshin had already been sick then, and she had missed their liveliness and energy. Sano's voice suddenly broke out, ending her reverie.

"Who's Kenji?" he asked, puzzled. "Is he another one of Kenshin's converts?"

Kaoru slowed walking, looked down, and blushed slightly. "No… he's… he's our son."

"You got married? To whom?" Sano looked very surprised.

Kaoru's head jerked up, and her face started to look slightly annoyed. "_Saaanooooo..._."

His eyes suddenly widened in shock. "Don't tell me…. _Kenshin?_" He let out a chortle of disbelief. "No….. really?"

"Is it so surprising?" Kaoru asked, in the annoyed tone all too familiar to him.

"No, no…." his face grew serious and he looked down, lost in thought. _I just never thought that he would really get over **her**…_

"Shame I won't get to meet Kenji… By the way," he said, more upbeat now, "Where's Kenshin? Why hasn't he come out to meet me yet?"

At this Kaoru stopped completely and looked down. She stooped down to pick a weed and twirled it between her fingers, not looking at Sano.

"Kenshin, he…. he's….." Her voice wavered and she bit her lip, then the worry lines on her face smoothed out again.

"Oh never mind!" She flicked the weed away impatiently, and beckoned to Sano, never looking at him. He followed her, puzzled. The air suddenly seemed to get heavier as both their mouths remained closed. Somehow, the merry atmosphere had disappeared in an instant. Kaoru's face wrinkled from worry again as they approached the foyer where Kenshin was.

"Kenshin!" Sano called out with a wide smile as he started to run towards his red-headed friend, but stopped suddenly. "Kenshin?" he said softly when he was face to face with the man who had once beat him in his prime. Kenshin's head was resting against a wooden post and his eyes were closed. He looked, Sano thought, like a corpse. At Sano's words, he slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head.

"Sa- Sano?"

Sano let a small gasp escape from his mouth. He had seen rotting corpses by the dozen, had seen rivers of blood and fire claiming men, but nothing had prepared him to see his friend like this. So weak… so frail…. It was as if Kenshin the swordsman had never existed.

"Kenshin!" Sano knelt in front of his friend and looked him full in the face. "You still remember me!" Kenshin smiled weakly. He looked like a simple poke would render him helpless. "Sano… I… I'm sorry…. I'm glad to see you, but…. can we talk over lunch? I'd like to lie down for a while, I don't feel too well…." He rose slowly while Sano and Kaoru made no move to help him. They watched him painfully instead, remembering his speed and his techniques in all the battles they had witnessed him fight. _How he could jump on walls. How more than 15 minutes of intense battle was almost nothing to him. How keen his senses were. _Sano averted his eyes. He couldn't bear to look.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono…" Kenshin smiled again as he clutched the post.

"It's fine Kenshin," Kaoru said peacefully with a smile. "Go inside and get some rest." He smiled again and made his way inside.

Neither Kaoru nor Sano moved for what seemed like a long time. Kaoru sat in the same place where Kenshin had, thinking, her head bowed. Sano still seemed suspended in disbelief. His mouth was dry and he felt strangely like crying. _Kenshin…_

Suddenly, Kaoru stood up and took a deep breath. "I'm going to prepare lunch now… Want to help me?" She started walking towards the kitchen, and Sano, after a little while, followed her wordlessly, still replaying his friend's many fights in his head. He sat down on a sack of rice, and Kaoru, who used to beat him about the head for doing that, went on silently taking out ingredients out of bins and tools out of cupboards. She set down a chopping board, grabbed a knife, pulled a peeled radish towards her, and started chopping.

"Kaoru…"

"Hm?" she asked, not looking up from her work.

"How… how did Kenshin become…..?" his voice was strangely subdued.

Kaoru sighed. "Sano, can you please grill those for me?" She pointed to three fish on the counter. "Thanks."

Sano heaved himself off the rice sacks and started looking for charcoal when Kaoru suddenly spoke.

"You… you remember what Megumi said after his fight with Shishio?" Her voice was very rushed and shaky.

"Yes I do…" Sano started twisting pieces of paper and placed them among the charcoal.

"Well…. a few years after you left, he started going around Japan again… looking for evil people to defeat…"

Sano caught the hidden meaning in Kaoru's words. _His atonement… I thought he had gotten over that way before I left…_

"So basically he worked himself almost to the death?" Sano's words rang with bitterness as he placed sticks through the fish and placed them near the fire. _Just for atonement…_ Kaoru looked up, struck with his bluntness, but then, with sad eyes, she went back to her work.

The two prepared food in silence for a while, with Sano watching the fish like his life depended on it, his eyes like coals, and Kaoru going around the kitchen, taking this vegetable and that plate. When the fish was finished, she took a small portion for and arranged it on a tray with some vegetables and soup. She balanced this on her knee and made ready to go.

"Kaoru…" Sano seemed to have just realized something. "When Kenshin started to go on adventures again… wasn't he married to you already?"

"We had better go. The food will get cold." Kaoru's tone made sure that the topic was closed. Sano got up and stared at the tray. The food was placed on red plates, a black bowl he was sure he had eaten out of way way back, and…

"Why are you using _that_?" He pointed to a small brown cup painted with a design of white plum blossoms. Kaoru wouldn't answer him, but he looked at her defiantly. _We both know what that reminds him of! _

"He seems to respond more when I use that, okay! Are you happy now? Let's go already!" Kaoru said, in a tone that seemed like she was holding back a great sadness. Sano let the matter drop and followed her. He tried to take the tray once but she jerked it away from his hands.

"Fine, then…" He felt something very soft touch his cheek and looked up. He couldn't believe it. It was too early for this!

"Kaoru… Kaoru!"

"What?" she snapped peevishly. Her eyes were fixed on the building where Kenshin was.

"It's…. it's… it's _snowing_."

Kaoru stopped and looked up. She opened her mouth to say how beautiful the snowfall was, but for some reason she couldn't. Her throat tightened, and she oddly felt like crying.

"Are you alright?" Sano asked her, when she didn't move after a few seconds.

"I… I…" The words _I'm alright _somehow refused to form themselves on her lips. As she continued looking up, a snowflake suddenly fell on her face and slid down softly, silently tracing the path of a tear.


End file.
